By Pressmin Spurious
Intergalactic Times staff reporter
Those pinkos over at the New York Pravda, er, um Times have the unmitigated gall to cast aspersions on Karl Rove concerning his perceived lack of credibility as an election analyst for the Fox News Channel. The Times seems to feel that the genius who masterminded the two term presidency of our beloved leader George W. Bush is in some way biased. Shame on you New York Times! Everybody knows that Fox News is FAIR AND BALANCED! Stick that in slick willy Clinton’s hash pipe and INHALE!
There is finally some good news on the election front. One well known vote thief has opted out of an election bid. Jesse Ventura has decided not to run for senator. My dear readers may remember that this Jesse person turned a pro wrestling career, in which he was famous for cavorting around in the ring wearing a feather boa, into a one term governorship in Minnesota. Ventura cited an unwillingness to put his family back in the media spotlight as his reason for not running. I think “the body” is just too chicken to run against incumbent Republican Senator Coleslaw and that other guy. You know who I mean, the gay, foreign made hybrid automobile driving, Bra Burning, Vegan Democrat.
That Nader Person is poised to be on fifteen state ballots by July 20th. If his keeps up he will be on over 45 ballots come election day. What has gone wrong with the two party system, in that the REAL PARTIES can’t stop this man from getting on the ballots owned by the two real parties? One has to shake ones head in wonder.
I understand that the Republicans are busy rallying around the president’s brilliant plan to decrease gas prices via increased domestic drilling and production. I realize that this plan is a hard sell given that it will take a decade to produce a one week supply of oil, if any oil is ever found. But I must ask chairman Boehner of the House Unrepublican Activities Committee to convene a special session in regards to all this unrepublican activity! If something isn’t done soon, THIS COULD BE THE YEAR THAT A CANDIDATE FROM OUTSIDE THE TWO PARTY SYSTEM GETS ELECTED PRESIDENT!
