Repeal the GAS TAX!

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“I believe in doing random acts of satire!”
—ClapSo—

By Pressmin Spurious
Intergalactic Times staff reporter

A fellow blogger posted this yesterday:
Congress Would Like to Punish You For Using Less Gas

It’s good as far as it goes, but true conservatives should now band together and insist on a complete repel of the gas tax. Real conservatives believe in the efficiency of the private sector over socialist programs like government highway spending. The highway system should be completely privatized!

Brilliantly run corporations like Enron, Worldcom, and Countrywide Financial Corp should be set free to bring the efficiency of the marketplace to our highway system, just like they did to the energy, communication and mortgage industries! While we’re at it, we should insist that the government get out of the way of military contractors TOO!

Let’s sell the pentagon and all the bases to a consortium lead by Halliburton and Blackwater. Then they can run the rest of the military as efficiently as they are running the war in Iraq! I’m sick and tired of this commie style operation at the pentagon! Time to set the marketplace free!

Even the democrats have jumped on the privatization bandwagon! It’s official, they’ve sold their whole damn party to AT&T:

There’s lots of privatization going on down in Washington! Countrywide Financial Corp tried to buy the Lincoln Memorial, but they couldn’t get a mortgage.

The following conservative bloggers have the unmitigated gall to whine like liberals:

Drudge

Axis of Right

Beltwaysnark

True conservatives believe in PROPERTY RIGHTS! The New York Pravda um, Times has every right to accept or reject the publication of anything submitted to it! Even if it is written by one of Saint John McCain’s staffers! SUCK IT UP! We have an election going. We have to assure the brilliant Bush lead republican agenda continues for four more years! Whining is an unrepublican activity! Keep this whining up and you’ll all be invited to the next vegan potluck bra burning! Then you’ll have to listen to the Dixie Chicks sing our national anthem!

I understand that the republicans are busy surfing porn on the internets, but I must ask chairman Boehner of the House Unrepublican Activities Committee to convene a special session in regards to all this unrepublican activity! If something isn’t done soon, THIS COULD BE THE YEAR THAT A CANDIDATE FROM OUTSIDE THE TWO PARTY SYSTEM GETS ELECTED PRESIDENT!

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