“I believe in doing random acts of satire!”
—ClapSo—
By Pressmin Spurious
Intergalactic Times staff reporter
Those commies at the United States Forest Service are at it again! They have the unmitigated gall to use that ruskie bear “smoky” to spread their unrepublican propaganda! Their latest “psa” which can be seen here is an assault on our right to drive motorized vehicles wherever we choose!
Thank heavens the fine folks at The BlueRibbon Coalition have stepped up to the plate and outed this latest USFS transgression!
Conservatives believe that we should all be allowed to go out into the woods and do as our ancestors did:
IF IT MOVES SHOOT IT, IF IT DOESN’T MOVE CHOP IT DOWN!
I’m sure my dear readers will agree that these are the actions that built our great country! Our United States of America! Where do these socialist bureaucrats get off telling us where we can and can’t drive? We have a god given right to go out into the great outdoors and enjoy whizzing by it at breakneck speed! So what if we rip up some roots here or there. The logging industry is just gonna come and chop it down anyway. My answer to the problem of forest fires is simple:
CHOP DOWN ALL THE TREES, THEN THERE WON’T BE ANY FOREST TO BURN!
I realize that the republicans are busy trying to explain to Saint John McCain that Afghanistan does NOT share a border with Iraq. However I must ask chairman Boehner of the House Unrepublican Activities Committee to convene a special session in regards to all this unrepublican activity! If something isn’t done soon, THIS COULD BE THE YEAR THAT A CANDIDATE FROM OUTSIDE THE TWO PARTY SYSTEM GETS ELECTED PRESIDENT!
