“I believe in doing random acts of satire!”
By Pressmin Spurious
Intergalactic Times staff reporter
Things are looking bleak on the financial industry front. Korea Development Bank in Seoul, a so called “state-run firm” has had the unmitigated gall make a takeover play for Lehman Brothers. This is extremely bad news and I’m sure my loyal readers will agree. This is nothing short of creeping socialism and of the worst kind! These are the same Koreans that have dumped those evil hybrid cars on us!
The Red Chinese owned Temasek has made two multibillion-dollar investments in Merrill Lynch, and Red China Investment Corp. has put $5 billion into Morgan Stanley. Those terrorist oil sheiks, Abu Dhabi, have bought $7.5 billion worth of Citi! There seems to be a fire sale going on, with large chunks of American financial institutions being grabbed up by the terrorists and the reds, and at bargain basement prices to boot! They are making a vegan potluck dinner of our American financial institutions!
How can this have happened? What went wrong? We have had over eight years of the best President, George W. Bush, this country has ever seen! He has been pursuing the noble cause of Reaganomics, just like his daddy before him! He has taken us to glorious war against the terrorist oil sheiks, and now these same sheiks, and the Reds, are buying our American banks? What the hell is going on?
I for one don’t intend to have future need to go to the chairman Mao branch of Pinko infested Beijing Citi bank for a bra burning! Someone need get on this!
I realize the Repulicans are busy trying to explain to McCain that he should know how many houses he owns, but I must ask ask chairman Boehner of the House Unrepublican Activities Committee to convene a special session in regards to all this unrepublican activity! If something isn’t done soon, THIS COULD BE THE YEAR THAT A CANDIDATE FROM OUTSIDE THE TWO PARTY SYSTEM GETS ELECTED PRESIDENT!