By Pressmin Spurious
Intergalactic Times staff reporter
The New York Pravda, er Times has finally reported some good news for a change. The fine folks at The American Enterprise Institute have announced that Arthur C. Brooks will be the new president of AEI. The Times quotes Mr. Brooks as saying:
“With research ranging between prophetic ideas and technical policy details, AEI has always acted as a steward of American ideals of private liberty, individual opportunity, and free enterprise,” Brooks said in a statement released by the AEI yesterday, adding that he is “fully committed to building on the Institutes amazing record of success.”
Who I ask you, dear readers, can quarrel with that? It was such things as the AEI “stewardship of American ideals” that have produced the going on eight years of brilliant leadership offered us by the Bush administration. Mr. Brooks brings a wealth of experience and expertise to AEI. As a professor of business and government policy at a college best known for its football and basketball teams (Syracuse University) President Brooks will make sure that AEI and The United States keeps its conservative game face on!
Alas, a defender of The American Way such as myself can’t let the good news blind us to ongoing unrepublican activities. The Federal Reserve has had the unmitigated gall to announce new rules “barring abusive or deceptive mortgage lending practices.” Don’t those pinkos at the Fed realize that deregulation is the wellspring of the great success that is the record breaking profits of Exxon and other large corporations? What are they trying to do, ruin the Bush lead economic successes? What will the Fed do next, require used car salesman and military recruiters to tell the truth too? What is Fed chief Ben S. Bernanke thinking? There have lately been some troubling rumors on the internets that Bernanke has been seen driving a foreign made hybrid automobile to vegan potluck bra burnings.
I understand that the Republicans are busy getting their full bib and tucker ready for the lobbyist funded shindig being thrown for new AEI president Brooks (this reporters invitation has yet to arrive hint, hint) however, I must ask chairman Boehner of the House Unrepublican Activities Committee to convene a special session in regards to all this unrepublican activity! If something isn’t done soon, THIS COULD BE THE YEAR THAT A CANDIDATE FROM OUTSIDE THE TWO PARTY SYSTEM GETS ELECTED PRESIDENT!
The Intergalactic Times 
I thought hippies didn’t wear bras from the quote of ” vegan potluck bra burnings.”…. at least from my ex. points of 52. 932 to level 2.